Let’s Just Give Up |Thoughts On Finding Brightness In Dark Days

I’m going to give you an uncommon piece of advice. You need to just give up. Yeah. I know everyone tells you to, “Never give up,” “Don’t quit,” “Keep fighting,” but this time, I’m telling you something different.

You need to give

[that]

[it]

[he]

[she]

[the job]

[hate]

[envy]

[insert the blank]

up…

to become who you truly were meant to become. 

You actually might be feeling like giving up right now as today, or yesterday (I don’t really know which one), is now dubbed as, “The darkest day in America’s history.” I don’t want to write a political piece, so this won’t be that. This is about you. This is about me. This is about how we will DECIDE to live amidst the good, bad, and ugly that happens in the world and our country[ies]. 

This is about moving forward and being better people today than we were yesterday.

I don’t know if much of what I will write will make sense to you. It might not make sense, because the year I’ve been through doesn’t make sense. Maybe you understand years like that. I think we all, in some way, have been through a monumental year. This week for me has culminated in more emotional and life changing incidents that I can actually comprehend. But, I feel like God has brought me here— wherever here may be— and somehow, I’m cared for and loved. Somehow, I see the impossible turning into possible.

You often get to see the world I show you— a flight attendant’s world. It’s one filled with cute Copenhagen streets and perfect cappuccinos. Summer days in Southern California when it’s not summer, but actually winter and just feels like summer. And sunsets on the farm that blanket a field of Almond trees in the best and brightest glow you could ever imagine. This is the world you have joined me in; this is the world that I love to share with you. It’s my personal world that is a little bit more multi-layered and full of conflicting emotions. This is what’s hard to explain.

It’s been one week since I had my last trip with The International Airline. How am I? How does it feel to be done? Do you have a job yet? What are you doing? 

Well, I can honestly say, I’m not really sure every answer to every question, but I have more faith than I have ever had. More faith in myself, my God, and my future. That is the best feeling and state of being I could ask for right now.

But you wonder, “Do I miss the airline?” Well, not yet. I’ve been so scared that I will miss it to tears. That my heart will break. That I can’t even. But, I actually don’t think I will. There’s just so much more in the world to learn from, experience, and adore. I’m ready for it. I have also had a lot occur in the last seven days, so I just do not have the mental capacity and emotional ability to look back with longing at what I left.

My week post quit included:

• My last trip without a new job ready, but with faith that God and an undying positive spirit, determination, and desire would fill in my gaps.
• The last commute for a bit.
• A day waiting at a studio to film something that didn’t actually get filmed.
• Celebrating the life and passing of my 92 year-old Grandfather in a beautiful memorial of his life— surrounded by a loving and incredible family who is a beautiful testament to the legacy a man of integrity can leave in his lifetime. I’ll miss my Grandpa so much.
• I leave in two days for Paris and Israel; a trip I didn’t even know I would actually go on because the companies had yet to purchase my airline tickets till two days ago. I like living spontaneously like that I suppose.
• Ferociously attacking my freelance client writing work because that paycheck matters and I’m going to have so much to do soon, that I won’t be able to keep up of if I’m not caught up.
• And interviewing.

There isn’t room in my life for The International Airline. I let go of the familiar for everything unfamiliar. I let go to grow. I let go, because there is someone I want to become and to be her, I can’t be there. I need to be looking forward, moving forward, and growing forward. I gave up. I truly gave up, and by giving up, I am making room for the next best thing to show up. And it is, it has, and it will.

Yesterday, while hanging out with Alana, shooting photos for blogs and vlogs, I looked into the yellow glow of the sun setting over the Santa Monica Pier. With tears almost forming, I glanced over to Alana and the snap-click of her camera, and said, “I am so blessed, grateful, and thankful to be home.” Having the courage to quit was the best thing that I could have done for myself.

What do you need to do today to create your best thing? Where and what do you need to “give up?”